1. Walking On Water

1.  Walking on Water

My purpose for creating this website is to offer a voice of understanding, hope and healing to those many, many souls who have been devastated by the demise of their eternal marriage.   It is a witness of how the Atonement of Jesus Christ applies to disappointment, betrayal, infidelity, heartbreak, abandonment and divorce.  It is a place where you can find inspiration, tools and practical ideas to help you build your faith and remember who you are.

The title is taken from the story of Peter, who was able to walk on water when his eyes were fixed upon Christ.  It was only when he was distracted by the wind and waves and his own self-consciousness, that he began to doubt—and thus, sink.  Peter’s example can be a metaphor for us and our experiences through the turbulent circumstances of divorce.

There are so many natural forces working against our faith and trust in God.  It is so easy to drown in the sea of self-pity, resentment, bitterness and blame.   There are fierce winds attacking from all sides, creating boisterous waves of anger, deception, criticism, rebellion and worldly philosophies of how to cope.   There is the natural pull of gravity in heavy emotions such as depression, shame, hopelessness and despair.  In such conditions, it seems impossible to rise above the situation.  And yet, that is exactly what the Savior admonishes us:

“With men it is impossible, but not with God:  for with God all things are possible.” (Mark 10:27)

“I am the way, the truth, and the life….” (John 14:6)

“Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

And unto Peter, He simply held out His hand and said, “Come.” (Matthew 14:29)

With an intense focus on the Savior, even a surrender and submission to Him, I testify that we can symbolically walk on water as our very natures become changed through faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ.  (see Mosiah 3:19)

At times, we may lose our concentration and begin to sink—and that is when we follow Peter’s example and cry out, “Lord, Save me!”   And immediately, Jesus will stretch forth His hand and catch us. (Matt 14:31)   In those moments, we can “just be held” in the “arms of a God who won’t let go.” (Just Be Held by Casting Crowns)

I testify of God’s grace and boundless love.  Our precious Savior really did,  “take upon him [our] infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, …that he may know according to the flesh how to succor [us] according to [our] infirmities” (Alma 7:12).

And I loudly declare the reassuring words of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland:

Don’t you quit.  You keep walking.  You keep trying.  There is help and happiness ahead…. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”  (Holland, October 1999)

wow

The following is taken from an address given by President Howard W. Hunter at the October General Conference 1992, entitled, “The Beacon in the Harbor of Peace.”

“As Christ’s disciples had set out on one of their frequent journeys across the Sea of Galilee, the night was dark and the elements were strong and contrary. The waves were boisterous and the wind was bold, and these mortal, frail men were frightened.  Unfortunately, there was no one with them to calm and save them, for Jesus had been left alone upon the shore.

“As always, he was watching over them. He loved them and cared for them. In their moment of greatest extremity, they looked and saw in the darkness an image in a fluttering robe, walking toward them on the ridges of the sea. They cried out in terror at the sight, thinking that it was a phantom that walked upon the waves. And through the storm and darkness to them—as so often to us, when, amid the darknesses of life, the ocean seems so great and our little boats so small—there came the ultimate and reassuring voice of peace with this simple declaration, “It is I; be not afraid.” Peter exclaimed, “Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.” And Christ’s answer to him was the same as to all of us: “Come.

“Peter sprang over the vessel’s side and into the troubled waves, and while his eyes were fixed upon the Lord, the wind might toss his hair and the spray might drench his robes, but all was well. Only when with wavering faith he removed his glance from the Master to look at the furious waves and the black gulf beneath him, only then did he begin to sink. Again, like most of us, he cried, “Lord, save me.”

“Nor did Jesus fail him. He stretched out his hand and grasped the drowning disciple with the gentle rebuke, “O thou of little faith, why didst thou doubt?”

“Then safely aboard their little craft, they saw the wind fall and the crash of the waves become a ripple. Soon they were at their haven, their safe port, where all would one day hope to be. The crew as well as his disciples were filled with deep amazement. Some of them addressed him by a title which I declare today: “Truly thou art the Son of God.”(Adapted from Farrar, The Life of Christ, pp. 310–13; see Matt. 14:22–33.)

“It is my firm belief that if as individual people, as families, communities, and nations, we could, like Peter, fix our eyes on Jesus, we too might walk triumphantly over “the swelling waves of disbelief” and remain “unterrified amid the rising winds of doubt.”  But if we turn away our eyes from him in whom we must believe, as it is so easy to do and the world is so much tempted to do, if we look to the power and fury of those terrible and destructive elements around us rather than to Him who can help and save us, then we shall inevitably sink in a sea of conflict and sorrow and despair.

“At such times when we feel the floods are threatening to drown us and the deep is going to swallow up the tossed vessel of our faith, I pray we may always hear amid the storm and the darkness that sweet utterance of the Savior of the world:

Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.” (Matt. 14:27.)

Peter walked on water

Where Can I Turn for Peace?

Performed by Katherine Nelson

  1. 1. Where can I turn for peace?
    Where is my solace
    When other sources cease to make me whole?
    When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
    I draw myself apart,
    Searching my soul?

 

2. Where, when my aching grows,
Where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.GethsemanePainting_zpsed2f92d8

 

3. He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind,
Love without end.

 

Text: Emma Lou Thayne, b. 1924. (c) 1973 IRI
Music: Joleen G. Meredith, b. 1935. (c) 1973 IRI
anguisth

Be Still My Soul

 

 

Performed by Eclipse6

1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev’ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

 

2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

 

3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast’ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

 

Text: Katharina von Schlegel, b. 1697;
trans. by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897
be still 2

Again by Jessie Clark Funk

Again
I’ve wrestled with demons and darkness.
I’ve wrestled with what has been lost.
I carry this crushing weight on my shoulders
And try not to think of the cost.

It’s more than a single decision.
It’s giving up part of myself.
It’s something I simply can’t do on my own
So I’m pleading with You for Your help.

Chorus-
Again and again
I’ve asked myself why.
I don’t think that I have any tears left to cry.
My soul is so tired and I’m longing for rest.
I’m giving my all and I’m doing my best.
It hurts to move on from the place I am in.

But You understand where I’ve been
And You reassure me it’s time to start over
Again.

I’m finally ready to listen.
I’m finally ready to hear,
Struggling to get a place You can reach me,
Where peace can speak louder than fear.

I can’t see the end of the story.
There’s no way to know how it ends.
For now I let go and I trust You to lead me
And show my heart where to begin.

Repeat Chorus

All of the pain and confusion I’m going through
I’m turning it over to You,
Willing to trust it’s the right thing to do.

Repeat Chorus

start

Beautiful Heartbreak by Hillary Weeks

I had it all mapped out in front of me
Knew just where I wanted to go
But life decided to change my plans
And I found a mountain in the middle of my road
I knew there was no way to move it
So I searched for a way around
Broken-hearted I started climbing
And at the top I found

Every fear, every doubt, all the pain I went through
Was the price that I paid to see this view
Now that I’m here I would never trade
The grace that I feel and the faith that I find
Through the bittersweet tears and the sleepless nights
I used to pray He’d take it all away
But instead it became
A beautiful heartbreak

I never dreamed my heart would make it
And I thought about turning around
But Heaven has shown me miracles
I never would have seen from the ground
Now I take the rain with the sunshine
Cause there’s one thing that I know
He picks up the pieces
Along each broken road

Every fear, every doubt, all the pain I went through
Was the price that I paid to see this view
Now that I’m here I would never trade
The grace that I feel and the faith that I find
Through the bittersweet tears and the sleepless nights
I used to pray He’d take it all away
But instead it became
A beautiful heartbreak

Healer

 

Sometimes He Lets it Rain

rain

Sometimes He Lets it Rain   sung by Katherine Nelson

She sees the storm clouds gather
The sky is turning cold and gray
She knows that something’s coming
When she starts to feel this way
She pleads for intervention
But heaven offers no relief
And she would understand if she could only see that

Sometimes He lets it rain
He lets the fierce winds blow
Sometimes it takes a storm
To lead a heart where it can grow
He can move mountains of grief
And oceans of pain
But sometimes he lets it rain

When her heart surrenders
To the Master in control
Her spirit learns the lessons of the tempest in her soul
When it’s no longer raging
She can see how far she’s come
Through the wisdom and the mercy of the Son

Sometimes He lets it rain
He lets the fierce winds blow
Sometimes it takes a storm
To lead a heart where it can grow
He can move mountains of grief
And oceans of pain
But sometimes he lets it rain

(Tyler Castleton/ Staci Peters)
Vocal: Kathryn Nelson

rain 1

How Firm a Foundation

There is so much insight and conviction in the hymn “How Firm a Foundation.”  It is a song that reminds us that there will be “deep water” and “fiery trials” in this life, but that if we build our faith on the foundation of Jesus Christ, we “need not be dismayed,” for he will “strengthen [us], help [us], and cause [us] to stand, upheld by [His] righteous, omnipotent hand.”

How Firm a Foundation

How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in his excellent word!
What more can he say than to you he hath said,
Who unto the Savior, who unto the Savior,
Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?
*
 In ev’ry condition–in sickness, in health,
In poverty’s vale or abounding in wealth,
At home or abroad, on the land or the sea–
As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand,
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.
*
 Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
*
 When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
*
 When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, thy dross to consume,
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
*
 The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!
         
Text: Attr. to Robert Keen, ca. 1787. Included in the first LDS hymnbook, 1835.
Music: Attr. to J. Ellis, ca. 1889

Tell Your Heart to Beat Again

The writer tells the story behind the song:

hand heart

Tell You Heart to Beat Again, sung by Danny Gokey

You’re shattered
Like you’ve never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you’re never gonna get back
To the you that used to be

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again

Beginning
Just let that word wash over you
It’s alright now
Love’s healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
‘Cause your story’s far from over
And your journey’s just begun

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again

Let every heartbreak
And every scar
Be a picture that reminds you
Who has carried you this far
‘Cause love sees farther than you ever could
In this moment heaven’s working
Everything for your good

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again
Your heart to beat again
Beat again

Oh, so tell your heart to beat again

Written by Matthew West, Bernie Herms, Randy Phillips • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group

reminder

Let it Go by Demi Lovato

still have hope

LET IT GO

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn my back and slam the door

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,
Not a footprint to be seen.
A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I’m the queen.
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside.
Couldn’t keep it in, Heaven knows I tried.

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see,
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.
Well, now they know.

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn my back and slam the door
And here I stand and here I’ll stay
Let it go, let it go
The cold never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all.
Up here in the cold thin air I finally can breathe.
I know I left a life behind but I’m too relieved to grieve.

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn my back and slam the door
And here I stand, and here I’ll stay
Let it go, let it go
The cold never bothered me anyway

Standing frozen
In the life I’ve chosen.
You won’t find me.
The past is all behind me
Buried in the snow.

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn my back and slam the door
And here I stand, and here I’ll stay
Let it go, let it go
The cold never bothered me anyway, yeah, whoa
(Na na, na na, na na na na na) [x4]
Let it go yeah
Na, na.
Here I stand.
Let it go, let it go, oh
Let it go.

Written by Robert Lopez, Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Emanuel Kiriakou • Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Walt Disney Music Company
letting go

Brave by Idina Menzel

I think this video is very symbolic of the healing process of unravelling the layers of emotions, thoughts, expectations and beliefs after the loss of a love relationship:

BRAVE

Don’t know just where I’m going
And tomorrow, it’s a little overwhelming
And the air is cold
And I’m not the same anymore
I’ve been running in your direction
For to long now
I’ve lost my own reflection
And I can’t look down
If you’re not there to catch me when I fall

If this is the moment I stand here on my own
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home
I might be afraid
But it’s my turn to be brave
If this is the last chance before we say goodbye
At least it’s the first day of the rest of my life
I can’t be afraid
Cause it’s my turn to be brave

All along all I ever wanted, was to be the light
When your life was daunting
But I can’t see mine
When I feel as though you’re pushing me away
Well who’s to blame, are we making the right choices
Cause we can’t be sure if we’re hearing our own voices
As we close the door even though we are so desperate to stay

If this is the moment I stand here on my own
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home
I might be afraid
But it’s my turn to be brave
If this is the last chance before we say goodbye
At least it’s the first day of the rest of my life
I can’t be afraid
Cause it’s my turn to be brave

And I might still cry
And I might still bleed
These thorns in my side
This heart on my sleeve
And lightening may strike
This ground at my feet
And I might still crash
But I still believe

This is the moment I stand here all alone
With everything I have inside, everything I own
I might be afraid
But it’s my turn to be brave
If this is the last time before we say goodbye
At least it’s the first day of the rest of my life
I can’t be afraid
Cause it’s my turn to be brave

Written by Glen Ballard, Idina Menzel • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Peermusic Publishing, Universal Music Publishing Group
built for
brave 1