When individuals suffer life-altering physical injuries, often they need a space and period of time for recuperation and recovery. Hospitals provide urgent and intensive care, and then rehabilitation facilities provide longer term care, therapy and exercise to prepare the patients to go back home. In the life-altering trauma of divorce, it is just as necessary for heartbroken individuals to create a place of safety, stability and peace for their spiritual and emotional healing.
Spiritual Convalescence
A modern Apostle, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, admonished listeners to slow down and focus “On Things Matter Most” in times of distress and difficulty (Uchtdorf, October 2010). He taught:
“One of the things we learn from studying the growth of trees is that during seasons when conditions are ideal, trees grow at a normal rate. However, during seasons when growing conditions are not ideal, trees slow down their growth and devote their energy to the basic elements necessary for survival.”
President Uchtdorf continued,
“What do you suppose pilots do when they encounter turbulence? A 
student pilot may think that increasing speed is a good strategy because it will get them through the turbulence faster. But that may be the wrong thing to do. Professional pilots understand that there is an optimum turbulence penetration speed that will minimize the negative effects of turbulence. And most of the time that would mean to reduce your speed….
“This is a simple but critical lesson to learn. It may seem logical when put in terms of trees or turbulence, but it’s surprising how easy it is to ignore this lesson when it comes to applying these principles in our own daily lives. When stress levels rise, when distress appears, when tragedy strikes, too often we attempt to keep up the same frantic pace or even accelerate, thinking somehow that the more rushed our pace, the better off we will be.
“My dear brothers and sisters, we would do well to slow down a little, proceed at the optimum speed for our circumstances, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most.”
“Strength comes not from frantic activity but from being settled on a firm foundation of truth and light. It comes from placing our attention and efforts on the basics of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. It comes from paying attention to the divine things that matter most.” –Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Things that Matter Most–The Basics of a Firm Foundation
They are often called the “Primary answers” because we learn them in Primary. But they are really the primary answers because they are the elementary, fundamental, basic practices that build the foundation of a testimony and faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ. They include:
- Daily prayer
- Daily scripture study (particularly the Book of Mormon)
- Worship every Sabbath in Church meetings
- Worthily partaking of the Sacrament
- Temple worthiness and frequent attendance
These practices are the essential building blocks of faith. They are how we come to know and be “nourished by the good word of God” (Jacob 6:7). They are how we learn to feel and recognize the influence of the Holy Spirit. They are personal, individual practices that bring us to the Savior “one by one”. These are the exercises that, when performed consistently, will develop a deep core of strength and stability.
In short, obediently observing these five practices is essential for our spiritual health and wellbeing. Just as the body is nourished by food and water, the spirit needs the “bread of life” (John 6:35) and “living water” (John 4:10) for its sustenance. These fundamental acts build and strengthen our relationship with God.
President Uchtdorf emphasized, “…Our relationship with God is most sacred and vital... . To strengthen our relationship with God, we need some meaningful time alone with Him. Quietly focusing on daily personal prayer and scripture study, always aiming to be worthy of a current temple recommend—these will be some wise investments of our time and efforts to draw closer to our Heavenly Father” (ibid).
Disconnect from the Distractions of the World
“I think most of us intuitively understand how important the fundamentals are. It is just that we sometimes get distracted by so many things that seem more enticing…. Printed material, wide-ranging media sources, electronic tools and gadgets—all helpful if used properly—can become hurtful diversions or heartless chambers of isolation” (ibid).
Elder Randall L Ridd said, “[The internet] facilitates your access to both the very best and the very worst the world has to offer. With it you can accomplish great things in a short period of time, or you can get caught up in endless loops of triviality that waste your time and degrade your potential” (Ridd, April 2014).
In order to follow the command to “Be still, and know… God” (D&C 101:16), we must have the courage and discipline to disconnect from the enticing distractions of the world.
This is what our young missionaries are asked to do when the are set apart for full-time service. For a season, they step out of the secular world to concentrate on spiritual development. Unlike others their age, they do not watch TV or listen to popular music or go to the movies. They aren’t on social media or playing video games or searching the internet. They spend eighteen months to two years forsaking the world’s allurements and diversions to focus solely on living worthy to have God’s Spirit with them at all times.
While healing from the heartbreak, sorrow, disappointment and anxiety of a broken marriage, it is worthwhile to create a refuge from the world and its varied disruptions. Turn off the electronics. Take a break from social media. Tune out the contentious talk radio. Log-off the daily news feeds. Take a long walk in nature. Admire the sunset. Lie down in a warm bubble bath. Get a relaxing massage. Snuggle with a blanket. Listen to inspirational music. Write in a gratitude journal. Do those things that nurture and calm your soul. In other words, give yourself permission and opportunity to just “be still.”
Peace–Not as the World
The peace that Jesus offers is, by His very definition, different from how the world describes peace ( John 14:27). The world says that peace is the absence of conflict, fighting, war, trouble, sickness. In this world, there are military tanks and machine guns called “Peacekeepers.” Civil quarrels are disputed before a “Justice of the Peace.” Governments and lawmakers worldwide try to legislate peace through countless laws and programs and mandates. And yet, using force or exerting control over others has never been successful at establishing true peace in this world.
Christ’s Peace is an inner stillness in the midst of conflict, illness, loss, and pain. It is a gift of the Holy Spirit (John 14:26-27; Gal 5:22). This divine Peace instills a peculiar confidence to “fear not” and “be not afraid” in the direst of circumstances. His peace gives strength. It is a soothing calm. It is being content in every condition (Phil 4:11).
The peace the Savior speaks of was exemplified in an episode from His mortal life. Imagine the depth of peace Jesus possessed to have been able to sleep so soundly while a severe storm raged, causing the “waves [to] beat into the ship, so that is was now full.” Surely, there had been rocking and reeling of the ship in the turbulent waters. The wind must have howled, the waves must have crashed, and the men certainly must have shouted out in distress. Yet, the account says that the disciples had to awaken their Master, who was “asleep on a pillow” (Mark 4:38). Certainly, he possessed a peace “which passeth all understanding” (Phil 4:7).
As the story continues, his disciples cried out to him, “Master, carest thou not that we perish?” (Mark 4:38). Don’t you care that we are going to drown? “How canst thou lie asleep?” (Hymn 105). It is easy to envision their panic and anxiety. They were powerless against the forces of nature that threatened to destroy them all. They were desperate for help. The least they expected from him was to wake up and lend them a hand at bailing out the water. Yet, as was His pattern, this gentle, humble, powerful leader used this opportunity to teach a remarkable lesson.
And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea,
Peace, be still.
And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?
And they feared exceedingly, and said one to another, What manner of man is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”
This was a Peace so powerful that even the gusting wind and the tumultuous sea were hushed to rest. The Master showed that His Peace subdues the elements. He taught that His Peace surpasses fear. He demonstrated that His Peace is more than an inner feeling—it is a transcending power. This is the Peace that is promised over and over in the scriptures to those who are true followers of Jesus Christ. This is the Peace that heals the wounded heart.
W.O.W. Coach’s Practice Plan
Create a Refuge of Peace
- Slow down
- Commit to the Basics:
- Prayer
- Scriptures
- Church
- Sacrament
- Temple
- Disconnect from the World
- Be still, and feel the Savior’s Peace
Music that Heals
Master, the Tempest is Raging
When Faith Endures